Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Nothin'?


(Click on picture to enlarge)

Also, based on a true story.

5 comments:

  1. As an addendum to this comic, I feel obligated to tell another story.

    This comic is based on my experiences going to heavy metal shows as a young man. As the years pressed on, I decided that heavy metal is essentially "transition music" designed to tap into the "Angry Young Man" phase of adolescence. In a sense, the transition is one brought on by maturity as well as a desire to listen to music whose singers were less prone to cough up blood after shows.

    Anyways, I was captivated by the freeing violent energy brought on by the combination of drowning power chords, excessively fast double bass drums, and lyrics about death, destruction, and/or the one that got away.

    I can describe my own particular transition like this: there was a point where I saw Spinal Tap as less of a great metal band and more as a brilliant and artistic creation of satire. My opinion of the music was gradually, maybe even naturally, being lowered over time.

    But why did I experience that transition? Why had my opinion of Spinal Tap and their genre changed?

    I think I know why.

    I went to an all day heavy metal music festival called Ozzfest. I am a huge Black Sabbath fan, but I had my doubts that sixty dollars to see Ozzy Osbourne perform was going to be like seeing a 70 year old Sean Connery trying to play James Bond. So, naturally, my expectations had never been lower. Fortunately, Ozzy came out and did an unbelievable set that made me think twice about the nature of heavy metal music. As long as you are a performer, you can make any music listenable.

    So, no, it wasn't Ozzy's performance that began to change my mind about heavy metal music and its peripheral culture. In fact, the incident had nothing to do with music. I was sitting in the lawn section watching the band Drowning Pool play "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor". In retrospect, the irony of their lead singer pleading for the bodies to hit the floor is staggering considering the fact that his body hit the floor very soon after.

    So, the band is playing. I am just sitting on the lawn minding my own business. Suddenly, I feel something on my leg. Something wet. I lift up my leg to see a stream of liquid rolling past me. I turn around to see what the source of the stream is only to regret my decision for the rest of the day. I turned around to see a man, shirtless and seated on the lawn, urinating on the ground in front of him all while making out with his girlfriend who is wearing nothing but underwear and nipple pasties.

    I haven't been to a heavy metal concert since.

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  2. I can't believe you watched Drowning Pool perform.

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  3. Maybe, it's better I don't understand the cartoon reference. I even tried to understand Blister's comments and maybe even then it's better I still don't understand.

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  4. To clarify:

    This cartoon refers simply to a time when I sneezed at Ozzfest and no one said, "God bless you." Then again, I was at Ozzfest where God is Metal and Metal is God.

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