Noseferatu

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I know this is a quote from the Tod Browning Dracula, but that's only because it's incredible.

Click here for Dracula Gottfried.

Reeking of Soap

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Recovering from Sickness...

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...as if you can't tell from the quality of today's comic.

Brass Tacks

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Welcome to the working week.

Advice

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Have a good weekend, my little chickadees.

Get It?! He's a REAL Skunk!

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This comic STINKS.

The OUTRAGE Continues!

Head on over to The Fightins for more mock outrage over Tuesday's article on the Phillies racist promotion department!

meech.one and everyone else over at The Fightins did a great article expounding on the audacity of the Phillies in scheduling Italian Hertiage Night on the same night as a promotion about Guinea pig spies.

Everyone should be "angry" over this. I'm glad to be championing this cause. After all, "Ahhhh, Phooey" has always been fair to Italians.

Anyways, thanks to The Fightins and, as always,
GO PHILLIES!

Chinese Dollar Store

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Dear almighty Superpower China, I have nothing but respect for your culture, country, and General's chicken.

Check out The Onion this week. They have been sold to China.

This Comic Is Making Me Nauseous

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I threw up in my mouth while I was copying and pasting this crap together.

BREAKING NEWS: THE PHILLIES PROMOTION DEPARTMENT IS (HILARIOUSLY) RACIST!

So, as an avid Phillies phan (so much so that I even spell it with a "ph") and hard-working member of the consumerati, I was recently looking to find tickets for the Phillies most recent homestand.

Sure, I could sit at home and debate who Raul Ibanez looks like more, Imohtep from The Mummy or Billy Zane, but there is nothing like seeing a Phillies game live.

So, I went to their website and checked out their schedule and that's when I saw it...



The Phillies seem to be a part of a league-wide shill-machine for Disney's newest animated flop, G-FORCE. (See: David Wright's awkward G-Force commercial here)

But, even more insidiously, the Phillies have also scheduled Italian Heritage night on July 24th.

THAT'S RIGHT! CHECK IT OUT!



Now, I'm not Italian, but that's pretty racist. That's like scheduling Polish Heritage Night on a day when there's no game. (To the Polish American Anti-Defamation League, I'm sorry.) From what I can understand, a large chunk of Phillies fans (notice I didn't put a "ph") are of Italian descent.

I will still be attending Phillies games (what else do I have going for me), but that's because they didn't trivialize my heritage by scheduling it on the same day as a shitty movie promotion about talking guinea pig spies.

EXTRA BONUS FUN TIME GAME:

Just Desserts

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Bonasera, Bonasera, what have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully?

I Love Recycling...

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...Jokes.

More of The Angry Young Man

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If you were wondering, HPATHBP is awesome.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

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...Just Make Bad Web Comics.

The Most Dangerous Game

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Based on "The Most Dangerous Game" by Richard Connell.

Click here to read "The Most Dangerous Game"!

"Legitimate Businessman"

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This guy's name used to be Primo, but who's checking.

Photographic Memory

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Just for the record, Dolly Parton does not have a photographic memory. Of course, she DOES have photogenic mammaries.

Time After Time

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With regards to Karl Alexander and Nicholas Meyer.

Big Guy

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This character and the female character still don't have names. I kinda like Big Guy as a name.

Another Celebrity Death

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Goodnight, sweet Prince.

Happy 4th! Two Days Early...

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Happy 4th of July, minions!

Here's hoping you get to see some fireworks!

"I can't think of any better way to celebrate our country's birthday than by blowing up a small piece of it" ---Homer Simpson

The Angry Young Man

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Apparently, The Angry Young Man is not only a kick-ass song by everybody's parents' favorite musical artist, Billy Joel, but also a historic term coined in 1950s Great Britain.

Inside Man

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Hmmmm, this one seems familiar.

Who's gonna fault me for using the same joke? Oh...you?

Get over it.