Obligatory "Trick or Treat Used as a Euphemism" Joke

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You had to have seen it coming. (Get your mind outta the gutter!)

Check out last year's Halloween joke (HINT: it's the same as this year's.)

Phuck Halloween!

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Halloween happens every year. A Phillies World Series win and victor(ino)y parade could only happen once in a lifetime.

And what better way to celebrate a city-wide party than to mock the homeless!

Harry Kalas Calls the 9th Inning of the World Series

Click here to listen to the classiest announcer in all of sports, Harry Kalas, call the final inning in the Philadelphia Phillies World Series-clinching win.

"My Take" on...THE WORLD SERIES WINNING PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES!

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SEE YOU ALL AT THE PARADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008 PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS!

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What would a Phillies victory be without kicking the loser while he's down.

THIS IS A PROUD DAY TO BE A PHILLIES PHAN!

A Modest Proposal

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Go here, to read A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift.

After reading, come back and compare the satire in "Ahhhh, Phooey" to that of Swift.

I respectfully apologize for everything I have done here, and I thank you for reading. I assume you will never visit this site again so...yeah...goodbye forever.

Turkey Update and Anniversary Party!

The Philadelphia Turkey updates every Tuesday with "News Youse Can Use!"

Save the date-- Friday, 11/14, from 6-8 pm: The Turkey celebrates its one-year anniversary with happy hour @ The Irish Times (2nd & Bainbridge). Come celebrate one inane year with the dubious minds behind The Turkey-- and get schnozzled on $2 domestic drafts. Hope to see you there!

Executor of the Estate

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Stiffalliti's Funeral Home is located on "Death Row" in Philadelphia, in between Jackson Street and Wolf Street on Broad.

Now Better Tasting!

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FYI: The slogan, "Now Better Tasting," while possibly true does not seem like a ringing endorsement of your previous or current product. Still, that hasn't stopped companies from using this slogan to sell their wares. Take for example, Honey Combs, Doritos, or Fruity Pebbles.

So, what were these companies selling us before? I think this comic does its best to answer that question.

Phront-Runners

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Don't lose hope.

We (the Phillies, rather) shall overcome!

GO PHILLIES!

Puke the Vote!

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It's really great to know that whenever I can't think of an original comic, I have a stable of equally unoriginal comics to rip off.

Go Phillies!

Phillies Phever

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Times Joe Buck mentioned Ryan Howard's strike-outs: 643

Times Joe Buck propositioned Manny Ramirez for sex on the air: 643

That's as fair and balanced as it gets on Fox.

Philly Turkey Update!

This [World Series] week's top headlines on PhillyTurkey.com:

Nutter Engaging in Unfriendly Wagers With Tampa Mayor
Lidge to Wild Thing: "Stay the Hell Away From Me"
Fans' Blood Red Again

And two great new Phillies-centric Interactives:
The Fightin' Victorino T-Shirt Transfer
The "Let's Go Phillies!" Window Poster

And don't forget the awesome COMIC'S SECTION!

The Philadelphia Turkey ~ "News Youse Can Use"

Pick Up the Pieces

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This comic is based on the song "Pick Up the Pieces" by Average White Band.

DID YOU KNOW: The original saxophone player for Average White Band was Lehman Brothers CEO Richard Fuld?

ALSO, DID YOU KNOW: Both Richard Fuld's friends and enemies call him Dick?

Busy Week

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Aristoddler Returns!

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But only because I didn't feel like thinking of anything original.

Enjoy the one-joke phenomenon you'll be sure to forget!

Happy Super Friday.

PHILLIES WIN THE PENNANT!

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GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PHILS!

"An Eye for an Eye..."

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Pudding!

General Malaise

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I apologize in advance for get political.

So, yeah...bite me.

Every Tuesday?!?!

Yep.

Every Tuesday.

That's right, kids, every Tuesday The Philadelphia Turkey updates with "News Youse Can Use."

Enjoy!

New Reality Show

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Save Your Money

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Sometimes, I'm so clever it makes me want to retch.

Small Problem

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Oh, Snap!

I nearly forgot! The Philadelphia Turkey updates every Tuesday with "News Youse Can Use!"

Check her out, here.

Oops. That's not it. Oh, here it is.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day

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Garfield Minus Everything

Spurred on by the popularity of Dan Walsh's Garfield Minus Garfield, "Ahhhh, Phooey" is proud to unveil it's newest creation:

Garfield Minus Everything!



That's right, hipsters, Garfield just got a little more post-modern! Fear not, scenesters, it's just as unoriginal as Dan Walsh's "original" creation. And don't run for the hills just yet, average Americans without a clear sense of irony, there's still enough in these comics that you'll be familiar with so you aren't scared off by the prospects of thought.

Take this gem for example:



BRILLIANT SOCIAL COMMENTARY!

Just think about how great it is to live in a time where everything that can be said about our culture has already been said by others.

Just think about it...



...and breath a sigh of relief.

Animal Sanctuary

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Lethal Injection

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Have a Religulous-filled, Phillies-crazed weekend!

Bu$ine$$ and Plea$ure

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This week, "Ahhhh, Phooey", like many other MNCs, has made an effort to "Go Green".

The past two comics have been made using recycled material from other comics or jokes on the site. Revolutionary? Yes. Effective? Remains to be seen. Funny? Not at all.

Together, we can $ave the environment.

Melvin Gets Famous

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This comic was made from 70% re-used material.

Go green.