The Funniest Joke I've Ever Heard...

Alright, so, this is probably the funniest joke I've ever heard, and I've been wanting to work it into a comic for awhile now. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Now, prepare to laugh...


(Click on picture to enlarge)

Broadcast

(Click on picture to enlarge)

The Original Ashes of Comedy!

In honor of Ash Wednesday...


(Click on picture to enlarge)

FAT TUESDAY

(Click on picture to enlarge)

Happy Mardi Gras, folk(s).

Wish I were in New Orleans. Lampshade on my head. Naked breasts. Hurricanes...

WHAT?! Hey, I meant the drink, psycho! These hurricanes!

Good Gravy! It's The Philadelphia Turkey!

Hey, everyone! Well, hey...you. Boy, is it your lucky day. Today. Tuesday. February 24th. 2009. Of all the days you could have stumbled on my blog. Boy, are you in luck.

YOU: "Get to the FUCKING POINT!"

Okay, okay...jeez. Today is Tuesday so that could only mean one thing...

THE PHILADELPHIA TURKEY is BRAND-SPANKING, LAUGH-INDUCING, MOTHER-FUCKING NEW!

Enjoy.

The Freeman Society

(Click on picture to enlarge)

Read the article in CRACKPOT Magazine, here.

Oh, crap. That was just a picture of a dog wearing glasses, wasn't it? This always happens when I try to post a link.

Okay, try here.

Again?! CRAP! Okay, one last try...here.

Aristoddler is at it again...

(Click on picture to enlarge)

...and we get to reap all the hilarious benefits...

[crickets too bored to chirp here]

TMWNCT & The Horse with No Name

(Click on picture to enlarge)

I know what you're thinking, and I hated this comic too.

Well, well, well...

(Click on picture to enlarge)

Look she's crying liquid tears! The kind of liquid that might be in a WELL!

RIP Timmy O'Toole

Main Line Independence

(Click on picture to enlarge)

For all the posturing of superiority I do in this comic...my Dad still does my taxes.

Hey...

Did you know that there is no law that states one must pay federal income tax?

Sure the 16th Amendment of the Constitution states:

"The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration."

But there is NO LAW requiring us to pay.

Buuuuuuuuut, anyways, you have until April 15th so get payin'.

Like Father, Like Son

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfY3Jje4U-w

Runtime: 15min

Like Father, Like Son is an independently funded television program dedicated to bringing together father-son actors to discuss life, family, and the business of show. This episode (originally aired 2/6/09) welcomes Ty Bradford, legendary television actor, and his son Ty Bradford Jr.

This sketch was filmed as part of FEEKOBROARY: HALF A VARIETY HOUR WITH THE FEEKO BROTHERS at The Philly Improv Theater.

www.TheFeekoBrothers.com

Philly Turkey: Updated!

That's right, folks, The Philadelphia Turkey updates every Tuesday with "News Youse Can Use."

Click here to check out the only Philadelphia-centric news satire site on the web!

And click here to check out their ultra-rad comics section.

RFID Chips

(Click on picture to enlarge)

I don't like the idea of RFID chips.

Or this comic.

Both are terrible ideas that when carried out could be/are disastrous.

Click here to read about RFID chips.

Click here to watch a Pulitzer Prize winning movie critic talk about RFID chips with a bloated, pock-marked demagogue.

Friday the 13th

(Click on picture to enlarge)

What time is everyone going to see the new Jason tonight? I know I heard something about people going at midnight, but then it will be Saturday the 14th. What's the fucking point?

Anyways, here is a list of all the movie times for the ultra-hip, new remake of Friday the 13th, now playing in the Philadelphia area:

• The Bridge: cinema de lux, Philadelphia BUY TICKETS - 12:20pm, 1:40pm, 3:00pm, 4:00pm, 5:20pm, 7:10pm, 7:40pm, 9:30pm, 10:10pm, Midnight, 12:30am

• AMC Marple 10 BUY TICKETS - 11:30am, 2:00pm, 4:20pm, 6:45pm, 9:15pm, Midnight

• AMC Deptford Mall 6 BUY TICKETS - 1:00pm, 3:20pm, 5:40pm, 8:15pm, 10:40pm

• AMC Granite Run 8 BUY TICKETS - 10:05am, 12:30pm, 3:00pm, 5:30pm, 8:00pm, 10:35pm

• AMC Marlton 8 BUY TICKETS - 1:45pm, 4:15pm, 7:15pm, 9:45pm

• AMC Franklin Mills Mall 14 BUY TICKETS - 10:30am, 11:25am, 1:00pm, 2:00pm, 3:30pm, 4:30pm, 7:00pm, 7:45pm, 9:35pm, 10:15pm

• AMC Plymouth Meeting Mall 12 BUY TICKETS - 12:45pm, 3:15pm, 5:45pm, 8:15pm, 10:45pm

• AMC Loews Cherry Hill 24 (10:35 AM), 1:05, 3:35, 6:15, 8:55, 11:35, 12:10, 2:35, 5:00, 7:35, 10:10, 12:35 AM

• UA Riverview Stadium 17 (11:20 AM), (12:00), (12:35), (1:40), (2:20), (3:00), 4:00, 4:40, 5:20, 6:20, 7:10, 7:45, 8:40, 9:30, 10:00, 11:00

• UA Movies at 69th Street 9 (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 10:00

• Cinemark Movies 16 - Somerdale(12:55), (2:00), (3:15), (4:30), (5:45), 7:00, 8:15, 9:30, 10:40

• UA Main Street 6(2:00), 4:45, 8:00, 10:45

• UA Grant Plaza 9(12:30), 2:50, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15

• Regal Cross Keys Cinema 12(12:00), (12:30), (2:20), 3:00, 4:50, 5:30, 7:20, 8:00, 9:50, 10:30

So...what time you seein' Jason?

TMWNCT is Back!

(Click on picture to enlarge)

TMWNCT #1.

Political Cartooning

(Click on picture to enlarge)

It's easy! Simply apply a hackneyed metaphor to a current political situation, add a dash of snideness, and viola!

Adventures in One-Off Characters!

(Click on picture to enlarge)

Man Who Only Eats One Flavor Of Ice Pops...we hardly knew ye.

Extree! Extree! Phillee Turkee is New...ee!

(Click on picture to follow link)

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for taking the time to listen to a humble Christian's pitch. Today, for one day only, we have an update of the guaranteed to please Philadelphia Turkey! "

"The brainchild of Dr. Jacob Lambert can do many things, ladies and gentlemen. What's that? Why yes, sir! The Philadelphia Turkey CAN cure your baldness! And you, ma'am, The Philadelphia Turkey CAN get rid of your son's warts. What's that, young man? Can it core a apple? WHY YES IT CAN! Uh-oh...COPPERS!"

Uh, hey, folks. Sorry about that. Earlier this morning my blog was hijacked by traveling salesmen. Unfortunately, The Philadelphia Turkey can't do all the things that man said it could do, but it CAN tickle your funny bone(s).

Check it out here, and don't forget to check out their awesome comics section.

Blu-Ray

(Click on picture to enlarge)

The Feeko Brothers present...Half of a Variety Hour!

The Feeko Brothers are doing an entire HALF HOUR (that's 30 MINUTES) of all new crap in a VARIETY HOUR! Two improv groups PLUS live sketches, videos, and our feeble attempt at stand-up!

The Philly Improv Theater recently had our comedy appraised by a very reputable comedy dealer and he priced this show at $240 - $290! But we're going to give it to you for only $10! We'll even throw in some improv groups ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE! That or the improv groups are throwing US in for free... we still aren't sure how that works. Just come.


TWO SHOWS!

Friday, February 6th @ 8:00pm
with PHIT House Improv Team 'Everything Must Go' and NYC Improv Group 'Statues of Liberty'

Saturday, February 7th @ 10:00pm
with PHIT House Improv Team 'Everything Must Go'


At The Shubin Theater - 407 Bainbridge St. (between 4th and 5th)


10 bucks!
Space is limited so come on down early or buy your tickets online:
http://www.phillyimprovtheater.com/tickets.html

ALL AGES SHOW, invite ya friends and get drunk! It's BYOB!

The Week Off Continues...

(Click on picture to enlarge)

My week off from posting is going splendidly. Thanks for asking. Oh, you didn't ask, eh? Well, its going splendidly. Who am I?! I'm the guy writing this blog. Well, not this week, this week is my week off, but normally I'm the guy that writes this blog. Look, it doesn't matter if you care how my week off from posting is going because I'm not writing this specifically to you. There's hundreds of other people who read this site that care whether my week off from posting is going splendidly. Name one? Well...look, I don't like the way you're confronting me like this. All of a sudden I'm on the defensive, and why? Because you don't care that my week off from posting is going splendidly? Well, you can go screw yourself! No, wait, come back. I'm sorry. You're the only one who reads this...

Philly Turkey Update!

Click here to read this week's Philadelphia Turkey!

And don't forget to check out their always entertaining comics section!

"Ahhhh, Phooey" News!

(Click on picture to enlarge)

Story developing...