Happy Thanksgiving from "Ahhhh, Phooey!"

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Here's an "Ahhhh, Phooey" Thanksgiving Tip: Wear a diaper during your meal so you don't have to leave the table to void.

"The Morgolth and Dave Thanksgiving Special"

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Mmmmm: Philly Turkey Update!

Mmmm-Mmm! Just in time for Thanksgiving, The Philadelphia Turkey is serving up a freshly cooked batch of "News Youse Can Use!"

Enjoy!

Fancy Dinner

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"Ahhhh, Phooey": ZAGAT RATED!

Twin Peaks

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Not surprisingly, the erotic Twin Peaks is a lot more enjoyable that the actual Twin Peaks.

Abortion Limits

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A comic about abortion limits?! With a title like that, you know to brace yourself for laughter!

"Ahhhh, Phooey": Taking on the tough issues one off-color and tasteless joke at a time.

Don't Give A Shit!

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If you really didn't need my help, if you really didn't give a shit, then why are you reading this?

FUZZ

Part 1 of 2

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=601679123133

Part 2 of 2

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=601662291863

FUZZ
Runtime: 20:53

FUZZ concerns a musically inclined janitor, his impressionable nephew, and their hijinks on the road to self-discovery.

The film was shot on Super 16mm film in the Winter of 2006. This was my senior thesis film for Temple University. A hearty and sincere thanks to everyone who helped me get this thing "in the can" as they say. Who's "they"? Um...Hollywood? I don't know.

Writer/Director Christian Alsis
Cinematographer/Editor Billy Bob Thompson
Producer James Ventin

Starring:
Matt Berger as Fuzz
Nate Logue as Bob Jr.
Steve Gleich as Bob Sr.
Amanda Grove as Mary
and
Mary Sharples as Caroline

Main Line Dad

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Philadelphia Turkey Update!

G'day, all! Hey, did you know that The Philadelphia Turkey updates every Tuesday? You did, huh? Well, thanks for being a dedicated reader, dedicated reader, but I'll bet you didn't know that every they update with "News Youse Can Use"? Oh, you know that as well, is that right? Well, aren't you Mr. or Mrs. Smarty Pants. What do you mean you like The Turkey better than you like this site?! Oh, wait...so do I. Enjoy!

Ass and A Hole

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The Pessimistic Optimist

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Don't forget to come out to The Irish Times (2nd & Bainbridge) from 6-8 tonight to celebrate the one year anniversary of The Philadelphia Turkey! $2 domestic drafts! Half-priced appetizers!

RIP FJM

Fire Joe Morgan is no more.

Goodnight, sweet prince...

The Optimistic Pessimist

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Philly Turkey Update and REMINDER!

The Philadelphia Turkey celebrates its one year anniversary this week!

Hip-Hip-Hooray!

Wanna celebrate in salubrious fashion?! Here's how!

FROM THE DESK OF THE TURKEY:
Friday, 11/14, from 6-8 pm: The Turkey celebrates its one-year anniversary with happy hour @ The Irish Times (2nd & Bainbridge). Come celebrate one inane year with the dubious minds behind The Turkey-- and get schnozzled on $2 domestic drafts while enjoying half-priced appetizers. Hope to see you there!

Bee Bee

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The age old question...answered.

This Comic is Funny [sic]

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The title of this comic is meant to be ironic. Not in a million years would I find this comic to be funny. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that anyone who thinks this comic is funny is a sic, sic individual.

Number 2

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Designer Wallet

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OBAMA WINS IN LANDSLIDE!

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And the world breathes a sigh of relief/celebrates.

No, seriously.

Cashing In!!!

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Celebrate Barack Obama's historic victory with a limited edition can! Makes a great stocking stuffer!

"Ahhhh, Phooey": Your one-stop-shop for hard-hitting political satire!

Do yourself a favor and head on over to You Deserve a Puppy for their special fun-filled Obama-themed post!

AHHHH, PHUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

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Okay, okay, okay, okay, breathe, breathe, breathe, hoo-hoo-heee, hoo-hoo-heee, okay, okay, okay...okay...okay, I'm alright.

Congratulations to Barack Obama and the Democratic Party. All it took for people to wake the fuck up was an unjust and bloody war, sky-rocketing unemployment, continued increase in violent crimes, and a global economic crisis. We have given you our trust and our hope for a brighter future. We have left you with all the problems of the Bush administration and what is arguably a more danderous and terror-filled world. We have elected you as the 44th President of the United States. Now all you have to do is fix everything. If anyone can inspire the country and the rest of the world, it is you, Mr. Obama.

And now back to our regularly scheduled cynicism...

Remember to Cast Your "Vote"

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Despite my cynicism, I implore everyone to vote.

Philly Turkey Update!

Hello voting public! Do yourself a favor and check out the newest update from over at the Philadelphia Turkey, who provide you every Tuesday with "News Youse Can Use!"

The Feeko Brothers Present..."Murdering Glenn Gristle"

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The Feeko Brothers, in association with "You Deserve a Puppy" and "Ahhhh, Phooey", proudly present the premiere of "Murdering Glenn Gristle."

Of Brushes and Chives

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Why the recent fascination with the homeless? Well, with this economy, it's only a matter of time...

If I can establish a large homeless fan-base now, I won't have to work as hard when we are all homeless to stay relevant.