Surreal-real

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Scratch and snuff.

Sick...

...as a dog.

Be back next week.

MERRY CHRI$TMAS

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"Morgolth and Dave": Episode 2.2

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Meet the New Boss...

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"Ahhhh, Phooey!" Gets Topical!

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Click here to read Forbe's magazine's preposterous article.

Apply "Ahhhh, Phooey!" topical comedy directly to skin. Do not get in eyes. If you do get in eyes, flush with warm water for 60 seconds. If irritation persists, contact your local Poison Control Center.

St. George of New Haven

(AP Photo)

Patron saint of dead Iraqi children.

NSFW?

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"Merry Widow" in:Post-Mortem Depression

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TGIF.

"Morgolth and Dave"Episode 2.1

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America's favorite one-trick-monster, Morgolth Jackson, is back, and, surprise, he's getting on the nerves of Canada's favorite expressionless straight-man, Dave David!

Attention! Ahhhh, Phooey! Phans! Attention!

Hello, readers. Thanks for everyone who sent in their "Kooky Katchphrases" this past week. We will continue to post one scrambled phrase every week, and, using your official "Ahhhh, Phooey" decoder rings, you have to unscramble the phrase and tell us which Communist leader said the quote. That's how we play "Kooky Katchphrases."

This week's winner is Sheila Gretch from Muncie, Indiana, who decoded the following quote:

"There are two kinds of personality cults. One is a healthy personality cult, that is, to worship men like Marx, Engels, Lenin, and Stalin. Because they hold the truth in their hands. The other is a false personality cult, i.e. not analysed and blind worship." ---Mao Zedong

Thanks to all the loyal readers, and congratulations to Sheila!

Don't forget to check back every day for new contests and enlightenment. If it strikes your fancy, please send all contact information (Name, address, social) to Ahhhh.Phooey@ahhhhphooey.org.

One of us. One of us. One of us.

Falsifiability

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You can read more about the concept of falsifiability here.

Franook of the North

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"Winning: How to Be Winning" by Lazarus Monroe

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I found this power point presentation on a computer at the library. It looks like some kind of cheap empowerment seminar this guy Lazarus Monroe is using to sell his video series.

I had to re-size the image, but in the section about his tapes lists the titles as: "Cheating: Or, How to Win", "Losing and Suicide", and "The Art of the Trophy Wife."

From the Desk of The Johns

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Explanation.

Tacitly, Sir?

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Snoregasm

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Coming Soon to "Ahhhh, Phooey!"

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Skipper

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Lobby Lesson

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I've been really busy, and have not gotten around to writing any comics. For some reason, MS Paint deleted itself from my computer at home. Even worse, Spider Solitaire went with it.

Anyway, this is a video I made a couple of years ago that I continue to hock. The video is way past the point of relevance, and it features lots of topical humor that would have been funnier two years ago.

That being said, I really like this movie, and the topical part, although a trifle irrelevant, is still one of the funniest things I've ever been a part of and one of the funnest (word?) experiences of my life.

Also, it played at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Guess whose movies have never played there? Steven Spielberg. Probably.

A lot of work went into this.

Written/Directed by me

Filmed/Edited by Billy Bob Thompson

With Jeff Heinbach and Frank Alsis

An OvenMitt Production

www.youtube.com/OvenMittProductions

SIR! Version 2.0

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Peace on Earth

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History repeats itself.

SIR!

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This comic would have been perfect for yesterday, but I was busy.

Happy Belated Birthday!

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Happy Birthday, Caitlin!

Happy (?) Thanksgiving!

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RAM Bank

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Bush Pardons Turkey

(AP Photo)

Today, President George W. Bush pardoned a Thanksgiving turkey from execution.

I suppose, then, it's safe to say the turkey wasn't mentally handicapped.

Snake Joke

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This picture might have been NSFW back in its day, but time changes everything. Now, The Birth of Venus, that gets my muscle thumping.

Metaphors in Action

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Nigersaurus

(AP Photo)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/dino_vacuum

I understand the significance, but maybe not the most PC name...

Punny Pfriday

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Merry Widow: The Pilot

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Junk Box

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Jingle, Jingle

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Bean and His Father..."Get Political"

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Tough Questions.

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My metafictional self combines two things that I love the most: pretentiousness and egocentrism.

Sorry, I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I have to go make out with myself for a while.

Tails of Wealth

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Based on a conversation between Blister Keaton and Gerald Grzych.

100th Post Spectacular: a guy angers a girl with his chauvinism

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A trip down mammary lane...

Oops!

Hello, readers!

Things sure have been busy/ill around the "Ahhhh, Phooey!" corporate office this week, and we missed some deadlines as a result.

Fear not!

Things are back to normal, and today we will be posting our 100th blog entry!

Enjoy!

Let's Kill This Fad

Happy Friday, readers.

So, yesterday I saw a guy in Liberty Place wearing a t-shirt that is replicated here:



If you are having trouble deciphering the secret message, simply print out this page and hold it up to a mirror.

I remember the old days when we used to wear novelty t-shirts to impress other people with how clever we were, having been clever enough to buy a mass-produced t-shirt that espoused our anti-social and sarcastic "personalities."

Now it seems we have progressed to a new standard of egocentrism wherein we wear clever t-shirts, not to impress others, but to impress ourselves when we are looking in the mirrors.

In a perfect world, these t-shirts would all read:

"Christian Alsis Investigates..."IMAGICORP

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This is a sneak peek of my upcoming documentary series where I investigate issues that I find disturbing or unethical. This excerpt is taken from my episode on IMAGICORP, an evil multi-national conglomerate whose atrocities I have talked about extensively on "Ahhhh, Phooey!"

Happy Halloween!

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Happy Halloween, everyone, from your friends at "Ahhhh, Phooey!"

Coming Soon: MERRY WIDOW

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Based on the comedy of Glen Merry.

A Touch of Class

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This is a promotional video I recently made for "Ahhhh, Phooey!"

I will be posting more videos, here.

World Series History

"And with that stolen base, Jacoby Ellsbury has won a free taco for America."

CF:III

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From the people who brought you the Casual Friday Duology comes the newest edition to the Casual Friday Trilogy.

"The Z Chromosome": Behind-the-Scenes

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A behind-the-scenes look at "The Z Chromosome", a controversial and epic new zombie film from "Ahhhh, Phooey" writer Christian Alsis and the visionary mind of director Brett Ratner.

Nothin'?

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Also, based on a true story.

MOLASSACRE!

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Based on a true story.

How slow do you have to be to die in a molasses flood?

Yikes!

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Probably gonna catch heat for this one.

Casual Friday: Redux

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"Simpsons Did It" formerly "Still Waters Run Deep"

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"Monsters"

RNN News: Uncovers the Real Monsters of the World.

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The Redundant News Network (RNN) is dedicated to bringing you comprehensive coverage of all the day's celebrity DUI trials.

Stay tuned!